grandmas say the darndest things

I’m on the phone with my grandmother. She’s turning sixty-something this week and I called to tell her how young and fabulous she was.

But she knows this already.

Conversation then turns to food (because why wouldn’t it) and she starts in about breakfast and lunch and what she’s gonna have for dinner. I tune out, like you do. Start rearranging my wardrobe, thinking about self tanners and looking for last year’s pumps when I hear her say this:

“You know, I’m not trying to scare you, but it might be dangerous for you to have kids at your age.”

I lay down the shoes and reach for a bottle of red.

I’m only 29.