medical billing. the nhs takes on america.

In the UK I go to my GP just by calling up in the morning and attending the office sometime later in the day. His time and advice are free. If he writes me a prescription I get it filled for something like 15 dollars. No matter what it is.

I’m usually one of the first to point out the failings of all things NHS. I once worked for their regulatory body so I could probably do a better job than most. Still. It’s gotta beat this:

Last week after visiting my doctor’s office in the US I find $100 tacked onto my already substantial bill and converse with the Desk Sergeant as follows:

Me: “Wait a minute. What’s this?”

Desk Sergeant: “It’s $100.”

Me: (Blank look.) “Yeah. I know that. What’s it for.”

Desk Sergeant: “It’s for seeing the doctor.”

Me: “Isn’t that what this list,” points to lengthy bill, “Is for?”

Desk Sergeant: “Yes.”

Me: (Second blank look.) “Uh, huh. So is this a gratuity or something?”

Desk Sergeant: (Blank look of her own.) “You haven’t been here in six months. You’re a new patient. New patients, mean extra administration duties.”

(It had been six months and two days, btw.)

Me: “But you already had all my details. You already know everything about me. You already had a file on me because I saw it when I walked in the door. You never did anything AT ALL today except ask ‘what’s wrong with you this morning?’. And you just stared at me when I told you. So you see, you didn’t really have to do any ‘new patient’ things. Did you? I’d like to contest this.”

Desk Sergeant: “I had to move your file from that cabinet,” points over her left shoulder “To this cabinet,” points over her right shoulder. “And put a NEW sticker on it.”

Me: (Through closed eyes. After a long pause.) What do I EVEN say to that…?”