not the hair

He tells me my hair looks funny and then ….it’s on. I want to say I hate his jacket and who looks good in orange anyway? I don’t. Instead I give him the look and ask “Why would you say that?”.

“Because I love you.”

How do you argue with ‘I love you’, even when you’re mad and know it’s just a cover up? I tell him he should be dressing naked women. He says don’t temp him.

The job would suit him. He pays more attention to what I wear than I do. Things like this:

“Those earrings are too dramatic.”
“The shoes. No.”
“This cut’s more flattering.”

My sister has a polar opposite. She once dressed in paint splattered sweatpants for a dinner party with a bazillionaire….just to see if her he would notice. He did. Said she looked great. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

Fair enough, she’s hot as hot. And he wore a ‘If you ain’t wasted you done it wrong, Class of ’93’ T-shirt to his own baptism. (It was white.) But even my sister couldn’t pull off painted joggers over fine wine and truffles.

She says I’m lucky. I say she is. We envy one another, and deep down know we’re both right.

Gentlemen, listen up. A man who knows the value of a pair of red French soles is a good one. But sometimes, we really don’t want to know how we look, even when we ask.

Get it? Got it? Good.

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  • hattigrace
    May 11, 2006 at 12:57

    Oh, sooooo true!!

  • Ken
    May 11, 2006 at 17:13

    “But sometimes, you really don’t want to know how you look, even when you ask. ”

    Wow. That explains alot! 🙂

  • Melissa
    May 11, 2006 at 17:26

    I think I would be scared if my boyfriend had any clue as to what I should wear and what should accessorize it. I’m not used to guys like that.

  • allison
    May 11, 2006 at 18:14

    I’m with Melissa. I’ve never dated a guy with more than a half ounce of style.

    My current “he” wears flannel. Yep. For real.

  • Dawn (webmiztris)
    May 11, 2006 at 19:13

    are you serious? your guy says stuff like, “The shoes. No.”?? lmao! is he a control freak or is he slightly metrosexual? lol my husband doesn’t even LOOK at my shoes!

  • Buffy
    May 11, 2006 at 19:22


    He’s a photographer….comes from a family of super-duper newspaper, glossy-mag, catwalk ‘Lets photo Angelina and Lilly Cole’ photogs.

    So now he’s reading this over my shoulder and asking me if he’s a metrosexual. I tell him I don’t know. (But he does use Decleor.)

  • Wendy Boucher
    May 11, 2006 at 19:44

    Thanks for stopping by my site and thanks for the chuckle. After 11 years, my guy is absolutely frozen when it comes to saying something or not about how I look. He waits for me to give him a cue.
    Me: “Wow, I love this dress.”
    Him (visibly relaxing): “Yeah, you look great.”
    I nod, he nods, it’s the language of marriage.

  • Katherine
    May 11, 2006 at 19:49

    Oh, so true. When I want hubby to comment I get the generic, “you look fine.” When I don’t want him to comment I get the “er, um, uh…” and it begins.

  • Janet
    May 11, 2006 at 20:27

    Ain’t that the truth!

  • Mandy
    May 11, 2006 at 20:31

    I suppose I’ve made a rod for my own back. I always ask hubby if he likes what I’m wearing or if this goes with that etc.. to the point now where he tells me before I ask him lol. I don’t mind, in fact I love having his opinion.

  • Clare
    May 11, 2006 at 21:01

    Thanks for stopping by my site Buffy. I loved your last post. How true!!

  • Marv
    May 11, 2006 at 21:10

    My boyfriends barely gives much opinions of what I wear other than “you look nice” or if I ask more in details..but again, mostly i just get diplomatic answer!!! =) I guess he’s staying at the safe side or something!!

  • Jen
    May 11, 2006 at 21:38

    Well said!

  • Jillian
    May 12, 2006 at 0:36

    You are a terrific writer…glad I stumbled upon this blog!

  • Dawn (webmiztris)
    May 12, 2006 at 0:52


  • Dan
    May 12, 2006 at 2:33

    “You look nice” has always worked. “But, what about these?” “You’d look good in those, too.” Who wants to hear, “Those shoes make your feet look too big.” Or, “Don’t you have something nice to wear?”

  • Lynn
    May 12, 2006 at 2:34

    I think you are right, but really, don’t we all put way too much weight on what other people think??

  • eph2810
    May 12, 2006 at 5:00

    You know the “I love you” is a great thing to hear. I love it when my Sweetheart goes shopping with me and I get the thumb’s up coming out of the dressing room. If he likes it – I am happy :smile:.

  • Buffy
    May 12, 2006 at 5:36

    Mandy & eph2810 – I’m with you.

    Dan – VERY clever.

    Marv – You’re right.

    Lynn – You’re righter. But I just can’t help it.

  • Erika
    May 12, 2006 at 7:28

    So do we feel sorry for the men since they really will never know how to respond? lol Thanks for stopping by my TT!

  • Scouser
    May 12, 2006 at 11:47

    Hey you chicks can’t have it both ways. Oh hang on a minute!!! Yes you can can’t you. Girls! don’t ask the question if you don’t want the answer. I’m sure that if a woman ever asks “how do I look” or “how does this look” then she’s most likely looking for an argument. If the guy says she looks nice then she changes and asks “how about this?” That is the time to leave the building. The argument has started and he didn’t do or say anything wrong. Thank you for visiting my T13

  • Misti
    May 12, 2006 at 15:39

    That is too funny Buffy! You know my “he” and his non-existent sense of style. He thinks if I curl my hair or have lipstick on, I am dressed up. He will tell me how nice I look when I have sweats on if I have lipstick on.How strange! I think he doesn’t know what to say, so he just tells me all the time. If I ask him any specific questions that he thinks might be loaded, he looks at me funny and then says he is hungry or finds a reason to leave the room. I think it would be nice to have real feedback sometimes, but only if it was the feedback I wanted to hear!

  • Buffy
    May 12, 2006 at 17:07

    Naturally they should read our minds. We have to read theirs enough.

    I’m not saying you’re wrong. See above.

    My darling Earl,
    I always did think Bob was a clever man. The ‘leaving the room’…very diplomatic. Mine has a thing with tact. He’s not very good at it. Always asking me if I want him to be honest. I say I do.

    But. It’s up to him to determine if I really mean it. 🙂

    Here here!!

    Since when do you curl your hair? I’ve been away too long. 🙂

  • kerri anne
    May 12, 2006 at 19:23

    I love me a pair of paint-splattered pants.

  • Janice
    May 12, 2006 at 22:44

    That was great – too true and too funny. I HATE it when my husband has an opinion – AND he is ALWAYS WRONG!!! So I try to remember NOT to ask, but it is just a gut reaction – cause you want him to say “you look great – it is awesome.” So, I shop with my sister or a girl or by myself. It I need an opinion I ask a fellow girl shopper.

    You comment on my T13 was hilarious – you thought Bob Newhart was president when you were a kid?!?! That made me laugh out loud. I literally thought MASH was always on – like 24 hours a day.

    Love your blog – I am going to go continue reading it.

    Talk again soon!

  • Bre
    May 13, 2006 at 1:57

    You are 10000% correct… sometimes I don’t want to hear your opinion on how I look… especially when it comes to my hair!!

  • LisaBinDaCity
    May 13, 2006 at 13:31

    The “I love you” line will make me forgive a multitude of sins.

  • Pissy
    May 13, 2006 at 16:32

    Well said!

    and I love “The shoes. No.”! *LMAO*

  • Elizabeth
    May 13, 2006 at 18:08

    Hilarious! Ladies, you can thank me now: I’m training my son for his future girlfriends. He now knows to say, “Mom, you look beautiful just the way you are” no matter what I ask.

    Sadly, I’m losing on another key front. Whenever he says “I love you,” he gets money and avoids chores.

  • hattigrace
    May 13, 2006 at 18:35

    We will ride the streets that are golden,
    The glorious Bride and the great Son of Man. . .

    Ever since our sis died, I have been trying to find the CD with this song for the rest of the words. Now, I want to find it for you, too. Am so sorry about your loss.

  • David
    May 13, 2006 at 21:43

    So then what do girls want?! I’m telling you…y’all are just one confusing bunch, that I will never understand!

  • Queen of Pink
    May 14, 2006 at 0:05

    Thanks for the visit to my site!

    My husband is completely oblivious. One morning while getting ready for church, I tried on a dress that I used to wear (I’ve lost 60 lbs since then) and he said I looked great. Ummm, hello, it’s a tent! At least the man loves me enough to think I look great in anything.

    And yes, “I love you” can make a lot of things better!

  • Oob
    May 14, 2006 at 0:08

    Enjoyed the post, Buffy! My man is great at dressing himself, but knows better than to delve into the feminine waters. 😉

  • Grant
    May 15, 2006 at 1:31

    Since we are on the subject, I’m going to ask that oft repeated question: Then why do you ask if you’re not expecting an honest answer?

    Do you want us to tell the white lie or are you merely trying to pick a fight?

    Lots of guys are sure to be interested in that answer.

  • the oriental queen
    May 15, 2006 at 4:23

    haha this, post is hilarious!

  • Liz
    May 17, 2006 at 20:57

    stop making me laugh. I’m supposed to be working. funny post, indeed!

  • Pomme
    May 18, 2006 at 17:11

    Ha ha! This is brilliant and so true.

  • elle
    May 23, 2006 at 22:15

    Ditto. Unless you are a gay man. In which case, I welcome your input.