john coffey of the green mile. and the dmv.
Yesterday I hung out at the DMV- and yearned for French Bureaucracy.
I wanted to renew my nine-years-gone license. Only they wouldn’t renew it – mainly on the premise that busing around Europe isn’t quite the same as driving around America – and made me sit the whole shebang.
I lined up with a crew of pimply faced fifteen year olds and answered stupid questions about wonky suspension and bumpy roads. Then John Coffey from The Green Mile stepped up to administer the driving portion. John Coffey from The Green Mile barely fit into my car – but he fit. And off we went.
I did ok avoiding the squirrels on the 50 foot wide street with no markings because, lets face it, a ten year old could drive through a residential district like that. Still, with Coffey at your side, every thing’s intimidating. Five minutes in, we jump to a busier road and a 90 year old woman in a too-suped-up sedan decided to pull into my lane (Please note she was moving toward me, not with me).
I grew up dodging deer and opossums but not so much the old women in Mercedes. I panicked and pulled the only evasive maneuver I knew, which could have killed us just as easily as the grandma…and then said “Crap, I don’t know if I was suppose to do that.” John Coffey didn’t say a word.
Later, in front of the camera, I did get a rumbling “You can smile. If you want”. I tried. But it came out as a squint.
So here I am, for now. Back on the road. In the land of the SUV and the big ton truck…do my little Dodge and I even stand a chance?