the cousins are a mess

The cousins are a mess. Least thats what my Aunt says.

One keeps walking around the house saying ‘breasteseses’ and knocking people out. She’s a fighter and you better believe it. She use to have this really guttural voice, then she got her ears unstopped. People think shes softened up because now she sounds like Betty Boop. She hasn’t.

The other one wastes three hours a day on flawless makeup and blows her student loan monies on Louis Vuitton. Grandma says she spends too much time around men; but she looks like Catherine Zeta Jones and women just don’t like her. The other day she hit her boyfriend in the head with an ovenette. Yeah. The kind you bake bread in.

Boop is pure hell. Hateful as all get out. Stare her in the eye if you dare…she looks like an evil little garden imp. Funny as can be though, cause the thing is, she’s really not that bad at all. She’s just a put on. Because she’s blonde and has big boobs and doesn’t want people to think she’s a push over.

Zeta’s the best. Like a sister to me. And I mean that. Despite her spectacular fits of temper, she’s one of the sweetest people I know. (If it helps, she and Boop only beat up men.) She’s a debutante. A southern belle with brass knuckles. She dropped out of med school. Too much science. Zeta’s all about Social Policy, because socialising is her thing. Her powers of persuasion are amazing. She can talk a Mexican into anything.

Gotta love them cousins.