{"id":469,"date":"2007-08-11T01:00:57","date_gmt":"2007-08-11T01:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/?p=469"},"modified":"2010-05-26T21:54:07","modified_gmt":"2010-05-26T21:54:07","slug":"my-sister-is-jack-handy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2007\/08\/11\/my-sister-is-jack-handy\/","title":{"rendered":"my sister is jack handey"},"content":{"rendered":"

On Romance: <\/strong><\/p>\n

My instant messenger just popped up with a note that says ‘Add Me’. I don’t know what it means. But it sounds dirty. <\/p>\n

So he says “But you’ve (bungee) jumped with me before” and I say “Yeah, but I’m married to you now. I don’t have to do stupid things to impress you anymore.” <\/p>\n

I use to have one of Jon Bon Jovi’s videos Tivoed. Watched it every morning. Then the husband got ticked off and said I was just using it to get in the mood – so I had to delete it. <\/p>\n

On Pregnancy: <\/strong><\/p>\n

I know you’re dreading the whole birthing-process. Labor and all that. But don’t . Honestly. By the time you carry a baby for nine months, you’ll be begging them to take it out. <\/p>\n

Pregnancy’s a funny thing. With your first everything is so new and exciting. The anticipation of what ‘might be’ is just…incredible. With the second, you already know<\/em>. So it’s all ‘I’ve created a life. I’m a creator’. By the third one you’re just like…I get it already! Can we please have the baby now.<\/p>\n

On Family: <\/strong><\/p>\n

Our brother use to read romance novels. That’s a rumor I’m thinking about starting. <\/p>\n

She was convinced he’d never leave her. Seriously. Why else would she introduce him to the family.<\/p>\n

On Intellect: <\/strong><\/p>\n

Eating fish and reading big-worded books should help. That and Zoloft. <\/p>\n

I’m not saying he’s stupid. But he looks like he might be. <\/p>\n

On Fitness: <\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah. Whatever. I can’t run. I’ve had three kids. My bladder will fall out. <\/p>\n

So some people think I’m fit because I wear a size 2. What some people don’t know…is that I’m a midget!<\/em><\/p>\n

On Me: <\/strong><\/p>\n

She has this uncanny ability to brainwash her little sister. Honestly. She’s just like you.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I listen to the voice mails you leave – and they’re so long – I start to answer you back. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Romance: My instant messenger just popped up with a note that says ‘Add Me’. I don’t know what it means. But it sounds dirty. So he says “But you’ve (bungee) jumped with me before” and I say “Yeah, but I’m married to you now. I don’t have to do stupid things to impress you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum","category-brain-snacks"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=469"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2226,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions\/2226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}