{"id":3690,"date":"2011-01-15T00:02:41","date_gmt":"2011-01-15T00:02:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/?p=3690"},"modified":"2011-01-15T01:38:55","modified_gmt":"2011-01-15T01:38:55","slug":"and-in-the-end-despair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2011\/01\/15\/and-in-the-end-despair\/","title":{"rendered":"and in the end, despair"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.&#8221; &#8211; C.S. Lewis<\/p>\n<p>Yesterday was the first day I ever thought it.  Something horrible.  <\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/06\/21\/anna\/\"target=_blank>She<\/a> knew.  <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/15\/the-notebookyes-that-one\/\"target=_blank>She<\/a> must have known.  <\/em> <\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Grandmother.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"Grandmother\" width=\"450\" height=\"301\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3697\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Grandmother.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Grandmother-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>We never spoke about it.   Just didn&#8217;t seem the thing.  <em>Out of respect?<\/em>  That&#8217;s what we told ourselves.  <em>Denial?<\/em>  Some of us did that too.   We never said its name. <\/p>\n<p>But maybe she wanted to.  Maybe she needed to. Maybe we were the ones who couldn&#8217;t cope so we told ourselves she couldn&#8217;t either.  <\/p>\n<p>Where&#8217;s the comfort in that?   <\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.&#8221; &#8211; C.S. Lewis Yesterday was the first day I ever thought it. Something horrible. She knew. She<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum","category-photography"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3690"}],"version-history":[{"count":41,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3690\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3732,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3690\/revisions\/3732"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}