{"id":253,"date":"2006-11-01T23:17:09","date_gmt":"2006-11-01T23:17:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/?p=253"},"modified":"2007-08-11T01:09:15","modified_gmt":"2007-08-11T01:09:15","slug":"because-im-not-21-anymore-and-everyone-knows-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/11\/01\/because-im-not-21-anymore-and-everyone-knows-it\/","title":{"rendered":"because i’m no longer 21"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s a sacrifice to be made for the confidence and good sense that comes with age. My sister<\/a> says it’s the stomach and points to her I’ve-gone-up-to-a-size-TWO gut. I say she’s insane (because anyone who knows her knows how fabulous that thrice laboured body looks). I say it’s the face<\/strong>. <\/p>\n

My skin specialist has done her best to assuage my fear of fine lines and wrinkles by introducing me to Japanese skin care and saying things like: “Buffy you’re lucky you have such (SUCH<\/strong>) a chubby face. Thin faced girls are the first to age.” I don’t normally let skinny Swiss women talk about my fatness – face or no – but Heidi’s a friend and gives me discounts on photofacials and microderm. Bless.<\/em> So I endure. I endure because I really couldn’t cope without her, and because I have my own tried and tested method of gaging the aging process. One that involves teenagers, alcohol and produce. <\/p>\n

A photo from my 1997 Geocities Site. Back when I really was<\/em> 21. <\/center><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"C&B<\/center><\/a><\/p>\n

Every time I visit the States I make a point of buying a head of lettuce and a bottle of cheap red from a grocery store. (Because in Europe it doesn’t count. In Europe fourteen year olds regularly order rounds.) I do this to thrill in the delights of being carded by a college freshman. It’s my way of underhandedly begging for compliments. Of receiving without asking. At least, it use to be. <\/p>\n

The day before The Big 3-0<\/a> the card came out for Chianti. A cashier fed my details into the register and I laughed ’til I snorted. Sure. I was practically thirty. But I was passing for twenty. (High Five. Borat Style<\/strong><\/em>.) Two days later I got cocky and ordered a glass of house. The waitress smiled and didn’t ask for I.D. I nearly cried. The next night I decided to make Beef Burgundy for the family and “that’s ok. I’ll get the wine myself, thanks.” I did cry that time.<\/p>\n

I keep looking in the mirror wondering, how do they<\/em> know? Is there some visible forehead line or age dent that signals to pimply faced youths that I’m no longer one of them? <\/p>\n

He<\/a> just laughs and says “Rejoice! You’ve managed to pull it off for nine years” and “Besides, do you really want to be mistaken for a twenty year old?” I say “No”. And know he’s right. <\/p>\n

Still. I don’t like it. Not one bit. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s a sacrifice to be made for the confidence and good sense that comes with age. My sister says it’s the stomach and points to her I’ve-gone-up-to-a-size-TWO gut. I say she’s insane (because anyone who knows her knows how fabulous that thrice laboured body looks). I say it’s the face. My skin specialist has done<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=253"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=253"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=253"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=253"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}