{"id":206,"date":"2006-08-15T08:58:56","date_gmt":"2006-08-15T08:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/08\/15\/not-so-super-model-pt4\/"},"modified":"2010-03-22T15:40:31","modified_gmt":"2010-03-22T15:40:31","slug":"not-so-super-model-pt4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/08\/15\/not-so-super-model-pt4\/","title":{"rendered":"not so super model pt.4"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pt.3: Then he used the word sister (SISTER!) and said he was going to see Van Strudel. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d talk when he got back. <\/a><\/p>\n

I went straight to Eliza. All she said was “Oh B” and “Let’s make for the Hogs Head.”<\/p>\n

My inebriated friend was the queen of optimism-verging-on-delusion. “He’s dying to sweep you away,” her voice was all drama, “he’s just pig headed.” She mulled it over for another minute and then said “You know that Bonnie Raitt song, I can’t make you love me<\/em>?” Yup. “Well it’s bunk.” <\/p>\n

Later, through my third tumbler of amber ambrosia, I agreed. “He already loves part of me,” I drawled. “I’ve just gotta make him love the other part.<\/em>” By other part<\/em> I meant the part that didn’t look like a Dutch runway model. <\/p>\n

The next afternoon I made my way through the streets to the first Toni and Guy with a cancellation. A glam man in mascara seated me. “What’s your pleasure, dahling?” <\/p>\n

I flipped through a magazine until I found a photo of a very thin Catherine Zeta Jones – the closest I could come to Miss Van Strudel on such short notice.<\/p>\n

“Make me look like this,” I said, and meant it.<\/p>\n

A year later we’d sit back and wonder at the events of the following week. Eliza would laugh a laugh full of snorts and I would cringe and hide my head. <\/p>\n

But I was full of confidence on the day I decided to turn myself into the woman I hated. <\/p>\n

I coloured my hair the darkest shade of brunette. Adopted towering heels and an accessorised-to-death style. I even began learning drunken German – because she spoke the sober kind – and went around saying things like “Ich liebe mich Affe”<\/em> and “Ich bin sehr konfus”<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When he arrived home from Amsterdam-by-way-of-Paris he was in for a shock. So was I.<\/p>\n

Continued…..<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pt.3: Then he used the word sister (SISTER!) and said he was going to see Van Strudel. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d talk when he got back. I went straight to Eliza. All she said was “Oh B” and “Let’s make for the Hogs Head.” My inebriated friend was the queen of optimism-verging-on-delusion. “He’s dying to sweep you away,”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=206"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1614,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions\/1614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}