{"id":204,"date":"2006-08-07T13:11:54","date_gmt":"2006-08-07T13:11:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/?p=204"},"modified":"2010-05-17T15:02:04","modified_gmt":"2010-05-17T15:02:04","slug":"not-so-super-model-pt3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/08\/07\/not-so-super-model-pt3\/","title":{"rendered":"not so super model pt.3"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pt 2: I stopped eating and drinking and breathing, because what I heard was this: “I love you. I just don’t know it yet.” So naturally, I went and made a fool of myself.<\/a><\/p>\n

That Wednesday was dinner and a movie. I called in Indian. Korma, rice pilaf, nan bread with those little sweet bits. <\/p>\n

He told me he didn’t like the look of circles under my eyes and I thought Nice of you to notice. I’ve had them for a while. <\/em> <\/p>\n

He asked “What’s wrong?” and I told him. <\/p>\n

It was a three word whimper. A whimper is all you can manage when you hold onto something that long. He smiled and took my hand and for a second I could see him thinking ‘like family’<\/em>. Then I said it again. He creased his face and went for a Budvar even though he didn’t drink. <\/p>\n

I wished I’d ordered a Madras or maybe even an awful Vindaloo. Then I’d have a reason to get all teary. I always cried when I ate too hot curry <\/em>and he knew it and wouldn’t have thought a thing about it. But I had korma and who cried into coconut milk? <\/p>\n

We watched The Goonies<\/strong>. When he didn’t laugh at the truffle shuffle I knew it was bad. Three days later he turned it into a joke – because that’s what he did when he couldn’t cope. <\/p>\n

“You’re only human.” He laughed a laugh that wasn’t his and tried to make light. I called him an idiot and bawled. Out loud. Hiccups. Runny nose. The works. I held back for two years. When I let go, I let go bad. <\/p>\n

We went a week and didn’t speak. He said I was insane and needed time to get over the stress of exams and a bad break up (more on that later). Then he used the word sister (SISTER!<\/strong>) and said he was going to see Van Strudel. We’d talk when he got back. <\/p>\n

It got worse. <\/p>\n

Continued….<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pt 2: I stopped eating and drinking and breathing, because what I heard was this: “I love you. I just don’t know it yet.” So naturally, I went and made a fool of myself. That Wednesday was dinner and a movie. I called in Indian. Korma, rice pilaf, nan bread with those little sweet bits.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=204"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2046,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204\/revisions\/2046"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}