“You know those 80 year old bird women who rattle around on their porch and throw things? Well, if you’re not careful. That’s gonna be you.”<\/p>\n
She doesn’t say a word, so I know she’s listening. <\/p>\n
“I’m serious. You’re headed down a slippery slope, lady. Full of cat hair, senility and tinned fruit.”<\/p>\n
She’s staring at me. Head cocked. Lips pursed. <\/p>\n
“What are you going to tell your grandchildren when they ask why grandma’s snarling at the post man. Or why she’d rather drink vinegar from a half-gallon jug than stop by their birthday party.”<\/p>\n
She’s not liking it. ‘Talk to the hand,’<\/em> she’s thinking. She’ doesn’t say it. But she’s thinking it.<\/p>\n “It’s time for an intervention. You’re still an attractive young woman. Life doesn’t end with divorce you know.”<\/p>\n It really doesn’t. <\/p>\n “Now. Let’s go shopping for Sarees and we’ll talk about men. I’ll even let you buy me dinner.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “You know those 80 year old bird women who rattle around on their porch and throw things? Well, if you’re not careful. That’s gonna be you.” She doesn’t say a word, so I know she’s listening. “I’m serious. You’re headed down a slippery slope, lady. Full of cat hair, senility and tinned fruit.” She’s staring<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=184"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}