{"id":181,"date":"2006-07-10T12:27:17","date_gmt":"2006-07-10T12:27:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/?p=181"},"modified":"2010-10-06T18:58:55","modified_gmt":"2010-10-06T18:58:55","slug":"beat-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/07\/10\/beat-this\/","title":{"rendered":"beat this"},"content":{"rendered":"

“But you do it every night.” He’s trying to defend himself. A certain little habit. “I can’t help it. It’s your fault.” By turning the tables on me. “I can set my clock by you. It’s funny.” <\/p>\n

It may be. I haven’t decided yet. <\/p>\n

“Whatever, it’s weird. You know this. Right?” He doesn’t answer. Instead he laughs a holds-his-stomach-and-falls-over-like-a-school-boy laugh. I hide a grin and finish with, “Wait ’til I tell my sister.”<\/p>\n

“Please do. Tell your sister that every night you wake up 30 minutes after going to bed jumping and screaming like a mad woman.”<\/p>\n

He’s exaggerating. It’s not a scream. It’s more like a worried moan. <\/p>\n

“And that you,” I poke him in the belly, “are standing over me in bear-claw pose, arms raised, growling like a beast.” It’s true. He even bought a pair of plastic monster hands. For effect. <\/p>\n

“Those are fantastic.” He always brings up the rubber mitts. “And I know you’ve hid them.” He does the eyebrow stare. “Besides, you were acting banshee-like long before I came up with the bear idea.”<\/p>\n

“Oh that’s right. Make fun of my issues.”<\/p>\n

“Issues? An irrational fear of a bear attack is not an issue.” He starts to laugh again. “Bears in the city!” He’s doubled over in a gut-bust now. “Because it’s a jungle out there.”<\/p>\n

I roll my eyes. The best I can come up with. The best I can ever come up with, is: “Bears don’t live in the jungle, goof ball.” <\/p>\n

Seriously ladies. I know we put up with a lot in the name of love. But can anyone beat this?<\/p>\n

\"Claws\"<\/center><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“But you do it every night.” He’s trying to defend himself. A certain little habit. “I can’t help it. It’s your fault.” By turning the tables on me. “I can set my clock by you. It’s funny.” It may be. I haven’t decided yet. “Whatever, it’s weird. You know this. Right?” He doesn’t answer. Instead<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum","category-photography"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=181"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3280,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions\/3280"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}