{"id":135,"date":"2006-05-18T18:04:00","date_gmt":"2006-05-18T18:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/18\/american-psycho\/"},"modified":"2006-05-18T18:05:13","modified_gmt":"2006-05-18T18:05:13","slug":"american-psycho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/18\/american-psycho\/","title":{"rendered":"american psycho"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I wake up at 3am.  My head hurts and I can&#8217;t sleep.  I watch Tony Robbins sell confidence on the telly.  The sun&#8217;s out by 5.  Back in by 7.  It&#8217;s gonna pour.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m on my way to work and notice I have on two different socks.  <em>Why am I wearing socks?<\/em>  I spend the day at my desk.  For lunch I have three bananas and a cup of hot water.  Because it&#8217;s there. <\/p>\n<p>At 4 I notice my sweater is on backward.  I right it at my desk.  The Fedex man stares.  I don&#8217;t care.  <\/p>\n<p>I leave work at 5.  Trip over my own left foot three times.  A chav shoves me at the station.  &#8220;Sorry Love.&#8221;  Blows smoke in my face.  &#8220;Places to be.&#8221;  I want something hard and flat and painful to hit him with.  I feel like a Bret Easton Ellis novel. <\/p>\n<p>An hour later I&#8217;m tired and anxious.  I can&#8217;t wait to get home.  Veg out over Cartman and Chianti.  I say it out loud when I think it.  <em>&#8220;Ke-ANN-ti&#8221;<\/em>.  Like Lector.  Just before he sautes Liotta&#8217;s lobes.  <\/p>\n<p>Cartoons always make me feel better.  Fat kids and cheezy puffs.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not answering the phone tonight. <\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s been one of those weeks&#8230;and I don&#8217;t know why.<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I wake up at 3am. My head hurts and I can&#8217;t sleep. I watch Tony Robbins sell confidence on the telly. The sun&#8217;s out by 5. Back in by 7. It&#8217;s gonna pour. I&#8217;m on my way to work and notice I have on two different socks. Why am I wearing socks? I spend the<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hum-drum"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=135"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.buffyholt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}