the toler tribune
This bi-weekly paper edited by one Mr Cumpton Cline – who is Hazel’s husband – is devoted to bringing the latest news and information to the good people of our community, Toler Mountain, West Virginia.
We have correspondents in Pucketts Ridge, Lex and Pike. Birchey Vance also sends us news from Huntington and the Kanawha River Valley. Sometimes.
Our court reporter, namely the unemployed lawyer Virgil Sturgill, spends twelve hours a day at the jail and court house ready to report on local ne’re-do-wells District Attorney King sees fit to bring before Judge Toler and that other judge from Pennsylvania who we don’t yet know the name of. Virgil thinks it’s a kind of Polish name and we will write it here as soon as he tells us how to spell it.
Our hunting and agriculture columnist, Bill Joseph, will once again be seeing us through Sweet November and muzzle loader season.
Ms Mildred Muncy, who has headed the Social Section for over twenty one years, is back from sabbatical and a foot operation. Mildred is taking church bulletin news and says the ladies auxiliary can start submitting recipes for her Thanksgiving Special on Thursday.
The Bailey Sisters will be continuing their Neighbors Column where they report on all the varied things your neighbors do that you ought to know about. Don’t worry. They do not gossip.
Look out for more news clippings re: the town and it’s folk and weekly editorials by Mr Cline himself.
The Toler Tribune Editorial Staff
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15 Responses to “the toler tribune”
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I love it. So darling.
Wow, what a completely different life you lead on the other side of the Atlantic.
Sounds very plausible to me (being from the Kanawha Valley, and all). I love it!
See Kenju, to me, Kanawha Valley was ‘the city’. At least it was growing up.
Our local paper (when I was a wee thing)…really did have things like the following as news:
“Ms So-and-So received a telephone call today from her son X in Kentucky. They talked about politics and things.”
I still have papers from years ago, that had these kind of things in it, that I kept..thinking…’i'll use that one of these days’.
And so I am.
Too cute Buffy! Its so Southern too! Just add a “bless his/her heart” or a “precious”
It’s never gossip is it? My favorite part is always “you didn’t hear it from me, but….”
I like this.
Gawd, this sounds so familiar, remembering the “social columns” in the local weekly where I grew up.
Hi, Buffy. Just spent entirely too much time absorbing your blog. Love it!
hehe
Yup. A little wacky but totally plausible.
Reminds me of old newspapers I read while researching geneology on microfiche. Very cool.
Laughing Out Loud! I live in North Carolina next to the Blue Ridge Mountains but I’m originally from California. This is so hilariously true for ‘these here parts’.
Thanks for visiting my blog…it was my sister’s labor that I sat through. After she gave birth to a big baby girl, I went out and told my husband (then fiance) that we would adopt. Heh, it didn’t work. I have two biological children. And yeah, it was gross. LOL
Heh, terrific. So do you have any openings for a movie or restaurant critic? Heh.
That’s pretty neat, thanks for sharing!
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