once upon a time. in a land far away.
I’ve spent the past twelve months trying to figure out who I am as a writer. This, on the back of a 78,000-word bit of book that’s sat in my desk from then ’til now because I’m just not sure if it fits.
I started out at the end of a chic lit binge and my writing mirrored it. If I’m being truthful, and I try to be, I’d say this is me. Because I am woman, amongst other things, and relationships and streams of thought and the odd ‘does my bum look big in this’ make sense to me. In many ways ‘supermodel’ is the most real thing I’ve written here. Not just because I lived it. Breathed it. Gained and lost thirty pounds because of it. But because that’s just the way I talk. When I’m on the phone with my sister, sounding shocked and annoyed and pitching my voice up and down. I’m all about ‘Sure, she has a lot of teeth, but so does my horse!’.
But I didn’t do me. I didn’t do ‘write what you know’. I did that other thing. And here’s what I discovered. It’s fine to write what you don’t know. But you better make it believable. And I wasn’t doing that.
Cosmo Buffy didn’t fit Toler Mountain. West Virginia Buffy did. So I went back to my roots. To the mountains. To that person I never really was, but maybe would have been, if I had come along 50 years earlier. ‘Course I did it in a library in the middle of England. But I did it. I dove into the classics. I re-read Faulkner and Twain. Lee and Williams. Wondered if Hemingway knew what he was on about when he said “…you cannot do something someone else has done…” and decided to ask my Pa.
That’s when I stopped reading (southern stuff) and started listening. I found that life I might have had in my grandfather. And I found my voice.
I used it in ‘potholes full of shine’, ‘the death watch’ and just about every other piece of fiction I’ve written for this blog. Oh, and for that little matter of 78,000 words.
It doesn’t exactly belong to me. The tone or the rhythm. But it does belong to him. And I know him as good as I know anything.
I set myself a deadline when I started this blog. One year in. That year ends this month. Three more weeks of rewrites. Three more weeks of edits. Then it’s time for the querying. Time for the fingers crossed. Time for I-can’t-wait.
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22 Responses to “once upon a time. in a land far away.”
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I’ve often wondered what kind of writer I am too. Writing what I know seems boring to me, currently. Perhaps, when I’m older I might change my mind and write about being the only Asian girl in a land filled with cowboy boots, snuff and gunracks.
Currently, though, I’m enjoying trying on different genres.
Very inspirational! Good luck
Good for you for setting a goal and deadline. Sounds like you will reach it!
Trying to find my voice as well. I am writing about what I know… just hoping it comes across relatable to others. You’ve got to find your place, but you also have to be true to yourself.
Congrats on meeting your deadline Buffy!
Buffy, writing what you ‘maybe would have been’ sounds THRILLING. Your post made me really excited for you. Thanks for sharing
Oooh! I’m so excited for you! I’ll be living vicariously through you for the next several months.
Congratulations! This is exciting news indeed!! Thanks for keeping us posted!
I have no doubt we’ll all be saying, “I knew her when…” You go!
That miraculous genetic link. The life seed of your grandfather sailing through a generation, landing to form you and found expression through your soul. Who else values the depth of him the way you have? Who else listens beneath his words and tucks his nuggets of gold into their treasure chest?
You have honored him in your reverence for him. I believe you will be given favor and your volume will be read by millions.
PS Hate to hear about your insurance woes. My friend that lived in UK for 15 years faced the same thing this summer when she returned to NC. Had to pay $3K for first year of car insurance. Maddening.
I tried the “write what I don’t know.” I felt insecure with who I was as a writer. I found if you keeping running away from yourself, sooner or later you will find youself.
write what you know..and ignore the critic in you head…you can go back and do the editing later. aminah
I never could write what I don’t know because I just don’t have the imagination
The queries are the hardest part. Rejection is simple. Not hearing is a bitch–or everybody wanting more–but different mores–though I’ll take that over nothing
Good luck with it. What I have read here makes me think you will make a go of it!
cheers, buffy!
you are going to be published – i know it.
I am really jealous of your self-awareness. But, I am really happy for your decisiveness. I wish you all the luck and I am not a big comment whore on these blogs but I have been reading you for at least 6 months. I believe you will soar.
Buffy. I absolutely love this post. It opened my eyes to so much, thank you.
i like the idea of listening instead of just reading to find your voice
i love this!! i turely love this….i can not wait to dig into this book!! i have been waiting far to long and i can wait!!! i love you and am so proud of you and i know he is too!!
This is my first dip into your blog. I recognize the phenomena of connecting to your roots when furthest away from them. The unfamiliarity of the new place helps bring into relief the essance of the place from which we come. I’m guessing that was part of the process of finding your voice. Think so?
one’s writing voice is always found nestled among their roots…roots are hard to escape!
I can so relate to your journey as I’ve undergone something similar myself and I’m coming to the end of my self-imposed deadline and at the point of querying. Let’s hold hands.
Very impressive writing. I felt your pain in the post about the supermodel and the complete heel. You made me keep turning those pages. You’ll make it. No doubt about it.