because i’m no longer 21
There’s a sacrifice to be made for the confidence and good sense that comes with age. My sister says it’s the stomach and points to her I’ve-gone-up-to-a-size-TWO gut. I say she’s insane (because anyone who knows her knows how fabulous that thrice laboured body looks). I say it’s the face.
My skin specialist has done her best to assuage my fear of fine lines and wrinkles by introducing me to Japanese skin care and saying things like: “Buffy you’re lucky you have such (SUCH) a chubby face. Thin faced girls are the first to age.” I don’t normally let skinny Swiss women talk about my fatness – face or no – but Heidi’s a friend and gives me discounts on photofacials and microderm. Bless. So I endure. I endure because I really couldn’t cope without her, and because I have my own tried and tested method of gaging the aging process. One that involves teenagers, alcohol and produce.
Every time I visit the States I make a point of buying a head of lettuce and a bottle of cheap red from a grocery store. (Because in Europe it doesn’t count. In Europe fourteen year olds regularly order rounds.) I do this to thrill in the delights of being carded by a college freshman. It’s my way of underhandedly begging for compliments. Of receiving without asking. At least, it use to be.
The day before The Big 3-0 the card came out for Chianti. A cashier fed my details into the register and I laughed ’til I snorted. Sure. I was practically thirty. But I was passing for twenty. (High Five. Borat Style.) Two days later I got cocky and ordered a glass of house. The waitress smiled and didn’t ask for I.D. I nearly cried. The next night I decided to make Beef Burgundy for the family and “that’s ok. I’ll get the wine myself, thanks.” I did cry that time.
I keep looking in the mirror wondering, how do they know? Is there some visible forehead line or age dent that signals to pimply faced youths that I’m no longer one of them?
He just laughs and says “Rejoice! You’ve managed to pull it off for nine years” and “Besides, do you really want to be mistaken for a twenty year old?” I say “No”. And know he’s right.
Still. I don’t like it. Not one bit.
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36 Responses to “because i’m no longer 21”
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I lost my ID-ness three years ago.
I’m only 25 and already I don’t get carded. I’m trying to convince myself that it’s just because I only go to the same local places over and over…
Yeah, that must be it.
Maybe it’s a guy thing, but when I was seventeen I was the one picked to buy beer because I looked the oldest.
Now that I’m past forty I just do a happy dance when the cashier doesn’t call me “gramps.”
Aging does indeed suck. It beats the alternative though!
Oh yeah, I’m right there with ya! sigh
After a few years, you let go the ID ego boost.
Oh puh-lease. I don’t buy this coming from such a beautiful woman. Not one bit.
It’s all in the attitude and the company I keep.
I turn 30 in 26 days and I love the fact that I’m still carded.
I had a friend once, whose hair turned white when she was in her 40′s. The cashiers in fast food places always gave her the senior discount without asking, and she got all mad and huffy. Finally she realized the benefits of that, and she let them give her the discount all the time! I couldn’t wait until I got to the age for discounts; I just didn’t want to look like I should get them….LOL
I remember being carded for cigs (not for me!) when I was 28. He asked me if I used Oil of Olay. Probably flirting.
I’m mid-30s and classmates freak when they find out I’m over 30.
By Freak, I mean, they revert to ageism.
I stopped getting carded at 25, when I really started getting a lot of gray hair. I colored it quickly, but I think there’s something in the bottle, some sort of smell or something, that alerts them to my over-21edness. Though I did get carded going into a casino the other night.
I’ll be commiserating the big three oh in May, so I know what you mean about not liking it.
I remember being 18 and thrilled that I could pass without ID and now, nearly 10 yars later, I’m always surprised when they ask. I alsways wonder if they really don’t know or if they’re just doing me a favour.
He is right, but somehow that doesn’t make it sting any less. I am pratically kissing 40 and in some ways I look better than ever … but I would still like a little of that youth … ahhhhhhh.
Thanks for the visit and nice comments! I will be posting more photos of my trip for the next 2-3 weeks, I think. I took about 250 in all…..LOL
I agree with Kenju. Getting offered the senior discount is so much worse than not getting carded.
What can I say – I’m 81 and so thrilled when people tell me , I don’t look my age – they say, “you look like your in your 70′s.
The other day Kenju made a post and she said, “it’s all in your attitude.” If you think young and have a positive attitude you will always be young.
(And Millie does look much younger than she is – and sounds like it too!)
Buffy, thanks for the visit. You prompted me to add something to the post: I lost 5 pounds while I was in Europe, despite eating like a pig!
Kenju…I know!! That’s what I’m saying! I’m always conscious of bad fats and good fats. But I pretty much still take fat over preservatives and chemicals these days. Mainly from my experience in Italy. Fresh whole foods, even fats, I think, are better than these muck jobs you get in the freezer section. But I digress….
Millie, I’m taking your advice (and kenju’s) straight to heart…starting now!
And darling, you don’t look a day over 60. What youth you have. I love your blog (and your vlogs too!).
I’m still young enough to pout when I get carded, because don’t I look mature? Don’t I!? Or to sulk when someone asks, “so, are you a student or something?” and then I’m forced to explain my Very Important Job at my Very Important Place of Work.
Oh, I certainly still get carded. Of course, I look like I’m 12, so it’s understandable.
(I’m not “The Ex Files” anymore! Please update your link to me. I got a whole new blog just today.)
I hear you…it is SO painful when you stop getting carded. I would go through phases of getting carded and then not, and back and forth but I think those days are over. But, has to happen sometime…I’m over it. I think.
How about when your husband gets carded while you don’t. Now that’s painful, even worse, he loves it! I keep telling myself “it’s ok” someday he’ll lose his hair…
Colleen, love the hair bit…classic.
oh, they DON’T know, the lot of them. Trust me, I am almost 5 years further into my 30′s than you and while there is such a thrill to getting carded (which does still happen to me–keep up with the microderm; it really does work!!) there is an even bigger thrill to realizing that not only do I know how to buy wine, I know how to drink wine AND be devious….all without getting caught, throwing up or losing my: purse, phone, shoes…etc.
Thirties are wondrous…enjoy and happy day.
are you going to a bonfire ?. was waiting at the traffic lights once on my motorcycle wearing all the gear and thinking I looked really cool when theses young boys shouted “nice bike granddad”.
Terry, I use to do the big bonfires…hang out with the house at a local. These days I stay away from fires themselves…the village streets start getting a bit mad with it all in October…and don’t really let up until mid Nov when they’ve run out of pyrotechnics. Speaking of which….I do do the fireworks, hotpot with red cabbage and white wine though. Traditionally we hang out with his family on the 5th. Since mine are in American and have no idea what Bonfire Night is anyway.
In Canada the legal age is 19…I stopped being carded at 20….*sigh* At least you got a few years out of it Buffy!
you are sooooooo beautiful to me!!!! cant you see…….you are so beautiful to me!!!
Steph you’re like a big splattery ball of sunshine! Lol. I must kiss you. Now.
You’ve aged beautifully! I think we look better once we pass 30.
I have a thin face. And yeah, it did age quicker.But I also had the smallest boobs in the class, and now I’m laughing as those big booby girls struggle with them down to their waist, soon to be ultra uncomfortable in the Australian heat!!Makes me laugh and light up my wizzened little granny face.
Wow! I knew I should be happy about my chubby face for some reason! lol! And Buffy, you don’t look any older then you did in high school. (unless you want to!)
You still look card-able to me, dear. But you look 12, not 21 in that pic. God bless the full cheek sisters.
LOL. Thanks Devil!
Yeah, I know the feeling… I just say I am old enough. I do get a kick when I get carded too.
