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“I am thin. Like a piece of string.”
Chris would say the words and I’d nod like a madwoman and look at others to agree. Sometimes they would – because she was smart and hot and the homecoming queen. Sometimes they’d just shake their heads and not understand.
We wrote SNL skits in our spare time. Chris and I. It was better than boys and we liked to laugh. I did a one legged, blind ballerina. Chris did The String Chick. It was her Spartan Cheerleader. Her Mary Katherine Gallagher. Her Night at the Roxbury.
I had no props. Chris had one. An old shoe lace. She’d hold it vertical in front of her. Pull the ends tight. And tuck herself in behind it. *Hidden* “I am thin. Like a piece of string. Watch me disappear.” She’d strike a pose and say “Oh yeah!”
One day a befuddled cheerleader called her on it: “Crystal. I can see you. People are just saying they can’t to be nice.”
Chris peeked out from behind the shoe lace. Slow. Deliberate. Dazed. She looked at me and I looked back. We knew what she had to do.
She carried that shoe lace for years. Whenever she was around boring or annoying, or when she just felt like disappearing because she couldn’t be bothered being there…she’d whip out the lace, hold it in front of her, and hide behind it.
“I am thin. Like a piece of string.”
She’d smile and she’d disappear.
18 Comments so far
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You know why you had no props Buffy? Because the best comedy writers never need them!
Comment by misstraceynolan 07.22.06 @ 17:26Bravo.
I bet you have props .. you just aren’t going to let us in on them.
Hi Buffy, thanks for stopping by my blog! Always nice to see new readers! Take care.
Comment by Plantation 07.23.06 @ 15:15You are such a inspiration. I love your writing…all of it!
Comment by angel 07.23.06 @ 16:59AH ha ha ha ha ha! That is HILARIOUS! I would totally watch that skit on SNL!
Comment by Sarah 07.23.06 @ 19:50The “oh so fashionable” handbag is in fact a street vendor Prada knockoff purchased in Washington DC. Real leather and absolutely enormous, so maybe that’s what makes it appear more expensive than it really was ($35).If you ever happen to find yourself there, they have some of the best knockoffs I’ve ever seen, and so cheap! 
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog! I’ll be sure to check yours often.
Comment by Ivy 07.24.06 @ 13:54Buffy,
I’m glad you stopped by my blog so I could read yours – one post and I am already hooked!
Jessica
Comment by Jessica 07.25.06 @ 0:33I second Ivy. Perhaps we like it simply because all of us are asking, “Why didn’t we think of that?”
Comment by Janet 07.25.06 @ 4:55The best comedy comes from pain. It’s more relatable. And if you’re able to turn your heartache into laughter, then you know, someone like Chris will be alright…
Comment by David 07.25.06 @ 5:27This reminded me totally of a girl I used to see at the gym in college…which means, to me, that you definitely created a character.
Comment by sandra 07.25.06 @ 5:44Now that would make the perfect SNL character. But keep it to yourself and make your own show on public access. I’d so watch it.
Comment by Liz 07.25.06 @ 20:50Leave a comment
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