beat this

“But you do it every night.” He’s trying to defend himself. A certain little habit. “I can’t help it. It’s your fault.” By turning the tables on me. “I can set my clock by you. It’s funny.”

It may be. I haven’t decided yet.

“Whatever, it’s weird. You know this. Right?” He doesn’t answer. Instead he laughs a holds-his-stomach-and-falls-over-like-a-school-boy laugh. I hide a grin and finish with, “Wait ’til I tell my sister.”

“Please do. Tell your sister that every night you wake up 30 minutes after going to bed jumping and screaming like a mad woman.”

He’s exaggerating. It’s not a scream. It’s more like a worried moan.

“And that you,” I poke him in the belly, “are standing over me in bear-claw pose, arms raised, growling like a beast.” It’s true. He even bought a pair of plastic monster hands. For effect.

“Those are fantastic.” He always brings up the rubber mitts. “And I know you’ve hid them.” He does the eyebrow stare. “Besides, you were acting banshee-like long before I came up with the bear idea.”

“Oh that’s right. Make fun of my issues.”

“Issues? An irrational fear of a bear attack is not an issue.” He starts to laugh again. “Bears in the city!” He’s doubled over in a gut-bust now. “Because it’s a jungle out there.”

I roll my eyes. The best I can come up with. The best I can ever come up with, is: “Bears don’t live in the jungle, goof ball.”

Seriously ladies. I know we put up with a lot in the name of love. But can anyone beat this?


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  • Stephanie
    Jul 10, 2006 at 13:11

    This reminds me of my little sister……she woke up the other night picking spiders off the wall!! Her boyfriends won’t let her live it down :). She does those kind of things all the time though! Just last night my husband and my 1 1/2 year old were talking to each other in their sleep!

  • kim
    Jul 10, 2006 at 14:25

    I think he’s a keeper, seriously.

  • amanda
    Jul 10, 2006 at 14:44

    ew, that hand is nasty. but very cute that you all can joke like that. that’s what love is, i think, fun.

  • Misti
    Jul 10, 2006 at 15:09

    That is just too cute! Not the hand….but the fact that you can be so playful together. I definitely agree that he is a keeper! He seems to make you extremely happy. It is true love when he comes at you with that hand on and you find it absolutely adorable!

  • jadasgigi
    Jul 10, 2006 at 18:23

    Sorry, but no, I cannot beat that…lol
    Its good to keep the playfulness though…:)

  • jadasgigi
    Jul 10, 2006 at 18:23

    New pic of yourself? Nice..

  • Bre
    Jul 10, 2006 at 18:28

    that’s a sight only a girlfriend can love!

  • Lynn
    Jul 10, 2006 at 20:48

    Buffy, gorgeous photo! (Of yourself.)

  • Amy K
    Jul 11, 2006 at 1:35

    Well, you know what they say about big hands. 😉
    This post is so sweet; I need to go brush my teeth – that is how sweet it is!

  • Popeye
    Jul 11, 2006 at 10:55

    Well, now. That’s certainly different.

  • kenju
    Jul 11, 2006 at 12:09

    Can’t beat that. Mr. kenju used to wake me up in the early morning by putting one eye as close to one of mine as he could and just staring at me. It always freaked me out….LOL

  • Buffy
    Jul 11, 2006 at 12:37

    Kenju…..I think that would freak me out more. Something about ‘eyes up close’ that unsettles me. 🙂

  • Bernita
    Jul 11, 2006 at 13:43

    Three times – and he’d be dead, if it were me.

  • sophie
    Jul 11, 2006 at 14:39

    sigh. that’s the stuff great relationships are made of, doll!

  • ryane
    Jul 11, 2006 at 16:30

    buffy, at least you know he’s thinking about you everynight, right?? haha. those hands are priceles…although something tells me you are a clever enough woman to think of something to out do them…?? =-)

  • gary
    Jul 11, 2006 at 16:41

    I wonder what you would do if you woke up and REALLY saw a bear?

  • mamak
    Jul 12, 2006 at 0:07

    Yep, a little creepy! But somehow sweet all the same!

  • valiens
    Jul 12, 2006 at 0:20

    One time there was a cat meowling in the hallway. We lived in a NYC tenement. I woke up my napping step-father to see if he’d take care of it, and these were his waking words:

    “Ho, ho. I thought you were a big old bear. A bear. I thought I was going to have to shoot you. With my pistol. What?”

    “There’s a cat in the hall.” Trying not to laugh. He was a very serious person.


    “A cat. You just told me you thought I was a bear.”

    “No, I didn’t. Did I?”

    “Yes. You mentioned a pistol.”

    We finally laughed, he shooed the cat away, and definitely had trouble living it down. You are not alone. May I suggest you dream also of a pistol?

  • divine calm
    Jul 12, 2006 at 2:14

    hilarious. Boo!

  • kerri anne
    Jul 12, 2006 at 4:33

    I can’t help but have “Welcome to the jungle” stuck in my head right about now. I like this guy already. But I do find your irrational fear of bears quite endearing. We all need an irrational fear every now and again. : )

  • LisaBinDaCity
    Jul 12, 2006 at 12:38

    OY. Just OY 😉

  • hattigrace
    Jul 12, 2006 at 13:58

    I dreamed last night I left the car door open on Windy and someone ran into it and they were taken away in an ambulance! Wonder where the bear thing came from?? May God heal your heart so you can sleep in peace. Meanwhile, you all certainly have a good sense of humor about it!

  • Tonya
    Jul 12, 2006 at 14:37

    It’s far from boring which would be worse. Cute story.

  • BougieBlackBoy
    Jul 12, 2006 at 14:58

    LOVE it. absolutely love it. Hope things are going well. Love the new pic too.

  • Percival
    Jul 12, 2006 at 20:28

    Gee, I used to love those things – the hands… for halloween, when i was a kid. Didn’t know they still made ’em.

    Consider yourself fortunate!

  • David
    Jul 13, 2006 at 3:50

    Ok, I gotta admit, if I ever found out my girlfriend had this issue, I would so ride the wagon until the wheels fell off. It’s too funny! But in all seriousness…why do you scream Buffy?

  • Liz
    Jul 13, 2006 at 5:43

    you live in London right? Where exactly does this irrational fear of a bear attack come from?

  • Sweeti
    Jul 14, 2006 at 18:50

    Nope… but that is a valid fear. My Mr. would be a pirate if he could. Sometimes the role play thing is fun too. Cute story.

  • Cris
    Jul 17, 2006 at 14:30

    believe it or not…..a 2 year old with wild hair and big ole eyes right in your face at 3 am looking quite like a zombie can also make you scream like a banshee. for several reasons.