plain simple english

ladies what lunch

It’s lunch with the ladies again. Clare’s going on about the man she’s getting ready to dump and the one she’s trading him in for. “He doesn’t have Roger’s money, but with a body like that, who needs money?”

Gill does. “Puhlease. A nice body never got a girl anything but a house full of brats. Money, on the other hand,” she pauses. Sips her wine. Flashes her ring. “Gets you a whole lot more.” She’ll take money over muscle any day. She has a Porsche and a fat fiancee to prove it.

I want to talk about skin cream and facials and this vein below my 29 year old eye, but Chaz is discussing her arranged marriage.

“I’ll marry him. I’m not bothered.” She really isn’t. “I don’t have time to find my own husband, and the whole scene bores me.” Chaz is Bollywood gorgeous. With perfect skin and perfect hair and a Balenciaga stash I borrow from at least once a week. “But I’m not going to Pakistan, and I’m going to work, and I’m not changing my hair or my clothes.” She means it too.

Harvey Nichols

Luisa says she wishes someone would arrange a marriage for her and then asks how I managed the whole trans-Atlantic-continental thing for so long.

I say “I’ll tell you, but I’ll have to kill you,” and am only half joking. “The world really doesn’t need to know about the devilish persistence that can be me.” I also remind her it’s been a few years since we had to tackle border patrols to be together.

“Are you moving back to Italy with him?” Clare is talking to me, but she’s looking at Gill.

“No. I think it’s France or Amsterdam. Something like that.” Is Gill’s reply.

“He’s Italian,” says Chaz who tries rattling off the name Palenzona and looks at me for affirmation.

“He’s English,” I say. “He’s always been English.” The elusive Mr T. “And he’s not going anywhere at the moment.”

Chaz is hungry and bored. “Oh anyway, what are we having?”

I order a starter only, fork it around the plate, and try not to frown. The weekend woes are too fresh.

I’m still on Ryvita.

Facebook comments:

27 Responses to “ladies what lunch”

  1. Laurie says:

    Weekend woes would be putting it mildly – OMG. Glad you’re ok.

    Sounds like you have a very interesting and eclectic group of girlfriends, how fun!

    Thanks for visiting my blog – I love your writing, so I will be back :-)

  2. Jodi says:

    I wish I were in Europe with you. How exciting! Are you there because of your man? We might go to Barcelona at the end of the year…perhaps a stop in England would do us a bit of good?

  3. oob says:

    *gasp* What a terrifying experience for you! I hope you’re feeling better, Buffy.

  4. Bre says:

    Is it too much to ask that someone arrange a marriage for me with some guy who has the money and the body? If I’m going to be selfish, I’m going to do it right.

    I’m glad to know you’re at least feeling well enough to be out and about! Hopefully you’re back to 100% soon!

  5. adammmmmm says:

    So I’m supposed to ask you about bloggers from WV huh? I guess that there’s not much to do here so we’ve got to fall back on something. I’m not to familiar with Welsh though. I’m in the Northern part above the Mason Dixon. So no accent. Sorry. Glad to see you made it out though. If I ever leave, I’ll sure miss these hills though.

  6. Danielle says:

    I always find it interesting to hear how people decide on the person they want to be with. I suppose in the end people just have to do what makes them happy or at least what they think will make them happy.

  7. Amy K says:

    Glad to hear you are feeling a little better, Buffy. Go get a facial! :)

  8. Elizabeth says:

    Love this story, Buffy! It’s classic – change the names and the nationalities and this could be any group of girlfriends!

    The hospital where I work (oops…the h-word…sorry to bring up that reminder of the weekend woes) anyway, the h* where I work is sponsoring an event this summer. It’s called “Girlfriends Getaway” and will be held at a fabulous resort/spa in Scottsdale.

    Thus posing the question: why on earth would a hospital sponsor an event all about women indulging themselves?

    I was so hoping you’d ask! Because we’ve learned through scientific research that when women get together and yap, the conversation causes the release of a hormone that reduces our stress. We like to think of it as “friendship therapy.”

    I’m not making this up!

  9. Lucy says:

    As usual your writing is superb, even when you’re recovering and, no doubt, feeling like death.

    Good luck with the fanatical World Cup English supporters over there too.

  10. Thomas says:

    I am new here. Hi everyone!

  11. Katherine says:

    Your lunch looks awesome, so sorry you couldn’t enjoy it – I hope you’re feeling better. Wow, those are some friends! Would hard to be bored with them for entertainment.

  12. Dating Dummy says:

    Ah, things you never really get to hear in real life! At least not when other guys are around. I like how you write; that was an enjoyable read. Hope you’re feeling better.

  13. CrazyGirl says:

    Agreed with Elizabeth, this could be any group of girls getting together for lunch! Like the blog btw.

  14. hattigrace says:

    After my daughter’s two failed marriages, I am convinced arranged marriages are the way to go! I would have NEVER picked either guy. Now she is dating someone we really like. Not perfect, but nearly! Hope you are feeling much better.

  15. allison says:

    Ask for a doggie bag, some dry ice, and an airmail stamp. I’ll take that dish thankyouverymuch.

    How terrible to be that ill. Though you are on the mend, I add my get well wishes.

  16. Dan Flynn says:

    B,

    Why does the glass on the right seem to be standing in a pool of HP sauce? Or is it chocolate sauce? Why is a glass resting in any sauce? And why on the left is that lump of bread pudding nestling on a bed of mushrooms? I think we should be told.

  17. amanda says:

    love the way you capture the moment. and love harvey nichols…noticed that when my cursor passed over the photo…ah…

  18. jadasgigi says:

    Love your writing…I can just see your crazy girlfriends and hear those conversations going on one on top of the other. women are sooo funny together and so good for each other and sooo hard to get any of them to hang out together…why are women afraid of each other??? Please…I love the commmetor who mentioned friendship theraphy..I love it….need it….gotta have my girls…..

  19. mamakraft says:

    I know you’re still feeling bad and I feel bad that you feel bad, but I am really jealous that you have a girls lunch – especially one that looks as delicious as that! Oh yea, and I am jealous that you are only 29!
    You are such a terrific writer and I bet you are a terrific friend!

  20. Brittany says:

    That food looks delicious!

  21. Fitzgerald says:

    I want to do lunch with these ladies!! You guys sound like so much fun. And anytime you want to discuss facials and skin creams…you know where to find me. hehe. ;-)

  22. Vespa Rosso says:

    Oof! Sounds like a terrible weekend. I’m with Chaz, at this point I’m all up for an arranged marriage as long as I don’t have to change anything about myself :) . Glad you enjoyed your lunch, even if it seems that skin cream, etc, didn’t come up.

  23. Gosh, I’d love to do lunch with my friends, since I’ve changed jobs I haven’t been able to do lunch with my friends, although I’m making new friends to lunch with

  24. kerri anne says:

    Ugh. Pathogens are the worst. Feel better, babe.

    And that picture of the best presented food I’ve seen in quite some time: yum.

  25. David says:

    Hmmm…I wonder what you married for…money or muscles? Or are you a rebel that married for love? That true, real, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love, we all hope to share with someone some day…

  26. Buffy says:

    Why Dan, it’s to make it look pretty of course.

    As far as the HP sauce…I have no idea what it was. I didn’t eat it.

  27. Serena says:

    What a treat. I love all the inside dish.

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