Ten things I’ve told my mother since moving abroad.
1. No, you can’t send me a gun. Guns are illegal. Nope. Not even a little one. Knives are illegal too. Pepperspray – still illegal.
2. Quit moaning. I haven’t paid less than $6.00 a gallon for gas (It’s now $13.) since I’ve been here. It’s $8 (Make that $17) on the Continent.
3. The Queen of England is also the Queen of Canada and Australia. No I’m not making it up.
4. So, I went to Paris yesterday. For lunch. Yup. Just because.
5. A guy tried to mug me this afternoon. Broad daylight. I sucker punched him in the face with my mobile and ran.
6. The building I live in is almost as old as America. And it doesn’t even have a plaque on it.
7. I know you like your spoon. But eating with a knife and fork is just so much easier.
8. See. Three cheeseburgers and three cokes. Ninety dollars. And you thought I was exaggerating.
9. I kissed an entire rugby team today. It’s just like, what these Europeans do!
10. No, my flatmate isn’t American. She’s Northern Irish. Really. No. No. Now, how can she be Appalachian if she’s not American?